I've been very turned off in recent months by the gratuitous nastiness with which a few bad actors respond to perfectly reasonable questions.

It's always the same people, and some of them are even moderators, which doesn't reflect well on the site at all.

Just sayin.

Please we need your feedback.
Many people stopped posting and coming to parties this year because of such behaviour. They just don't need this level of crap.
Yes sarcasm (which is the main issue I believe) can be funny but not when the other person is new to the site and feels it unwelcoming, doesn't get it, is offended or is the butt of the joke etc.

If you have complaints about a Moderator, tell the Admins (JohnF, Starman or FlyingDutchman).
If a member annoys you, PM the Admins or a Moderator who will flag the issue with the Admins.

I share Kebab Queens concerns.
It is true that every now and then members write stupid posts. It is also so that some members do that more often than others. I believe we are all entitled to being stupid sometimes and also to write stupid posts.
We have a few "old" members , it doesnt make a difference of ordinary, admins or Mod's, who are so bright, well informed and clever, that they tell everybody, either directly or indirectly, who is less clever, that he /she is stupid.
Members however, who think they have to express that they think what others write is stupid, naive, rubbish, nonsense or whatever, not only potentially embarass or provoke the member who they are directing their message to, but also frighten off others, who are new, don't want to fight, are shy, not native speakers, you name it.
If someone wants the names of the people I am referring to, please PM me.

Perhaps it would be useful to forward the names to a Mod or Admin. There are members who have been flagged for such persistent behaviour and feedback to the right source is welcome.

Just to echo Charly's post. Any complaints then please let us know. I myself have no where near enough time to read every post and I usually only read a few out of every 100 or so posted as time is not on my side. This goes for the other admins and mods aswell as I know they dont have time to read every post.
Any complaints PLEASE let us know. If we arent told then we cant really do anything about it.

Kebap Queen: Yes, I agree with you and I want to publicly apologize for lashing out yesterday. It's the first time I've done it but that person was definitely not the first person who deserved it. I usually try to keep myself above that level. I agree that a few people here probably drive off vast numbers of potential posters who would love to be part of this group otherwise...they are afraid to write simply because there is a good chance they'll be attacked. As far as good-natured sarcasm goes, unless I know you well, can see your face or hear the wry smile in your voice, I have no idea it is ribbing or light-hearted joking. I'm not much on the use of emoticons but perhaps if there's a doubt, one should use them?

Having said that, the expats from this forum are in most part a really cool group of people...interesting and fun. The atmosphere at the parties and get-togethers is very friendly...so for those of you lurking, don't let a few bad posters/posts keep you away!

bravo kebap queen.

Being in a foreign country is hard enough without the vitriol dished out by the FILTT. (an acronym modified for turkey that some expats will get)

Frankly I too am shocked by the amount of crap that gets thrown at people on this site. I have been an expat in several countries and I have never encountered this kind of behaviour. I have also never lived in a country that I have found so hard to settle into - just being honest here - maybe my expectations were way too high but I found it hard and I know I am not alone. Genuine concerns are aired and then they are ridiculed. Opinions are shunned unless they are in line with the opinions of the chosen few. Even general comments draw the ire of the "all seeing all knowing".

Some of you might think that you are the "old china hands" but that kind of behaviour does nobody any favours - let alone the people that put their time (and clearly their money) into organizing this site - which incidentally is a very important tool to helping people settle in to a new and strange culture - and thank you for that.

Certain moderators are well and truly aware of who is responsible for this and it just took somebody with the guts to say that they are sick of it publicly rather than privately that enough is enough.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion and you would be amazed who you can meet when you are open to all and sundry without being knobs to them and turning them off before you have even started to get to know the intricacies of other people's lives and experiences.

Thank you for bringing up this matter. It seems to be the same culprits, hence I have not been logging as much as in the past.

I agree,

I see lots of less activity in the chats and lots of the normal people posting are not doing it any more and in reunions is comented. Good sense of humor is good but extreme sarcasm or insulting is not proper.

[quote user="jonathan" post="103251"]I share Kebab Queens concerns.
It is true that every now and then members write stupid posts.
[/quote]
[quote user="jonathan" post="103251"]
We have a few "old" members , it doesnt make a difference of ordinary, admins or Mod's, who are so bright, well informed and clever, that they tell everybody, either directly or indirectly, who is less clever, that he /she is stupid.
[/quote]
Is that the reason why you tell people that you are a moderator?
And don't tell me you don't, because 2 (back then) new members have told me that you directly told them that you are a moderator.

[quote user="jonathan" post="103251"]
Members however, who think they have to express that they think what others write is stupid, naive, rubbish, nonsense or whatever, not only potentially embarass or provoke the member who they are directing their message to, but also frighten off others, who are new, don't want to fight, are shy, not native speakers, you name it.
[/quote]
The members you are talking about are hardly ever new members, even still; mistakes need to be corrected, and the members you are accusing of the things you said can almost always prove what they're writing.
(on subjects like religion and politics. And more importantly, from sources that aren't biased.)

[quote user="jonathan" post="103251"]
If someone wants the names of the people I am referring to, please PM me.[/quote]
Again, you're not a moderator, and I'd like to know what right you have to give out the names of the people you are referring to.

RSA

Can you please read the previous posts again? Are you having trouble interpreting them?

[quote user="LAT" post="103436"]RSA

Can you please read the previous posts again? Are you having trouble interpreting them?[/quote]

Holier than thou.

perhaps but actually just know how to treat people properly. It makes me feel better about myself. Perhaps you should try it as well.

Dont stop the insults though. You are entitled to behave as atrociously as you wish if it makes you feel good. It does not mean that people have to accept it or agree with you (which they clearly dont).

RSA, none of the points you make are in the slightest way pertinent to this discussion. This is not about who wears what hat. This is not about whether or not "mistakes" need to be corrected. And it's not about the possession of testicles. It's about tone.

Would you care to address that issue? Are there any posters here who have hurt your feelings? If so, we're ready to listen with a sympathetic ear.

My penny's worth: Some posts here make me wince. I can quite understand why people would be put off/offended/alienated by the tone in some threads. But speaking personally, I get a kick out of the fiery stuff and will certainly click to read what some members have posted before I look at others. This is an open forum and we want diversity and a range of opinions, surely? What's needed is a basic level of civility.

The central issue is about volume of participation. I haven't been around long enough to see if posting has really declined. If so, it would be a great pity. Are there any stats available on activity volume?

EDIT: I could have sworn RSA mentioned testicles. But his post appears to have been edited.

[quote user="RSA" post="103435"]
[quote user="jonathan" post="103251"]
Members however, who think they have to express that they think what others write is stupid, naive, rubbish, nonsense or whatever, not only potentially embarass or provoke the member who they are directing their message to, but also frighten off others, who are new, don't want to fight, are shy, not native speakers, you name it.
[/quote]
The members you are talking about are hardly ever new members, even still; mistakes need to be corrected, and the members you are accusing of the things you said can almost always prove what they're writing.
(on subjects like religion and politics. And more importantly, from sources that aren't biased.)[/quote]

As Spine correctly states most of what you wrote is irrelevant as the discussion is about tone - I wonder what 'unbiased' source 'proves' people are dimwits or morons. Anyway, I want to pick up on one point from above regarding these mythical unbiased sources you mention. I hope you are taking the piss here because the idea that any source used here by any of the members including myself is not in some way biased is laughable. Of course if your definition of unbiased is one that agrees with you then I defer.